The New York Times is reporting that Bear Stearns has agreed to be bought out by JP Morgan Chase.
Alan Greenspan writes in the Financial Times that this current financial crisis is likely the worst since WWII.
Wall Street is LAYING AWAKE WITH HORSE EYE waiting for what might come next.
And that dick in the White House says: “As we take decisive action—though, don’t furget I’m the Decider—we will keep this in mind: When yur steerin’ a car in a rough patch, one of the worst things you can do is over-correct. There’s other worse things you kin do, but over-correctin’ is pritty bad.”
“That often results in losin’ control— and believe me, I know all about losin’ control— and you can, ya know, end up with the car in a ditch,” Bush said. “Steerin’ through a rough patch requires a steady hand on the wheel, and yur eyes up on the horizon thing, out there. And that’s exactly what we’re gonna do.”
Alrighty then. Let’s recap: Car in the ditch= worst financial crisis since WWII.
Wire me you worthless U.S. Currency today, before your neighborhood bank locks its doors for good. The peace of mind you’ll receive, knowing you unloaded that useless paper before it’s totally worthless, will be worth it’s weight in gold.