“The PMRC proposal is an ill-conceived piece of nonsense which fails to deliver any real benefits to children, infringes the civil liberties of people who are not children, and promises to keep the courts busy for years dealing with the interpretational and enforce-mental problems inherent in the proposal’s design.
“It is my understanding that, in law, First Amendment issues are decided with a preference for the least restrictive alternative. In this context, the PMRC’s demands are the equivalent of treating dandruff by decapitation …
“The establishment of a rating system, voluntary or otherwise, opens the door to an endless parade of moral quality control programs based on things certain Christians do not like. What if the next bunch of Washington wives demands a large yellow “J” on all material written or performed by Jews, in order to save helpless children from exposure to concealed Zionist doctrine?”
It is my responsibility to enforce all the laws that haven’t been passed yet.
It is also my responsibility to alert each and every one of you
to the potential consequences of various ordinary everyday activities
you might be performing
which could eventually lead to
*The Death Penalty*
(or affect your parents’ credit rating).
Our criminal institutions
are full of little creeps like you
who do wrong things…
and many of them were driven to these crimes
by a horrible force called
Our studies have shown that this horrible force
is so dangerous to society at large
that laws are being drawn up at this very moment
to stop it forever!
Cruel and inhuman punishments
are being carefully described in tiny paragraphs
so they won’t conflict with the Constitution
(which, itself, is being modified in order to accommodate
I bring you now a special presentation
what can happen to you
if you choose a career
The WHITE ZONE
is for loading and unloading only…
if you have to load
go to the WHITE ZONE…
you’ll love it…
it’s a way of life…Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha…
It’s me, I’m back.
This is the CENTRAL SCRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTINIZER…
The WHITE ZONE is for loading and unloading only…
If ya gotta load, or if ya gotta unload, ya go to the WHITE ZONE.
You’ll love it…it’s a way of life.
That’s right, you’ll love it, it’s a way of life,
that’s right, you’ll love it, it’s a way of life, you’ll love it.
This, is, the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER!
The Central Scrutinizer, and Joe’s Garage
* Listen to “Scrutinizer Postlude,” and “A Token of My Extreme” from Joe’s Garage for an introduction to Appliantology, latent appliance fetishists, and sexy little kitchen machineries.
Our sculptural kitchen counter accolade melds Frank with the awesome little Malongo-Oh-Espresso machine.
And yes, we used the incorrect spelling of espresso to emphasize the word’s blending with “expression.”