THE EBOLA RIVER BRIDGE

Ebola is coming for you.

BUTTS ON THE GROUND

Bhoener ButtsYeah that’s McConnell and yeah he’s dead, and Putterer of the House, Boner Boehner, reeks the Press.

WASHINGTON—   House Putterer John Boehner (R-OH.M.G.) was ragging to the press earlier today about President Barack Obama’s strategy against ISIS, saying “butts on the ground” would be needed, because, well, that’s just how “we roll.”  He was reluctant to say just whose butts he intends to roll into harm’s way.

“At the end of the day, uh, I think it’s gonna take more than, uh, airstrikes and billions of dollars to drive them outta there,” Boehner said.  “At some point, somebody’s spawn has gotta get their butts blown off.”

Reporter Mal Aprop of BSN asked if that meant American butts.

“Listen, the president doesn’t want to do that, because he doesn’t have the stomach for killing, no matter what the reason.  But if I were the president, I probably wouldn’t have talked about what I wouldn’t do, or, uh, you know, what I might do.  Or even what I would do do.   But where I come from, War always means butts on the ground, so somebody’s butts have to be there.”

“So you would recommend putting American butts on the ground, then?” asked Aprop.

“We have no choice,” Boehner sobbed, dabbing away tears.  “These are Conan-like barbarians.   They said they wanna kill us.  So unless we all just wanna lay down and die, we’re gonna hafta pay the price and, uh.. send some more of your children’s butts over there to die.”

Turn Out The Lights. . .

 

Alice and Ted in Tea Party land

. . .The Tea Party is over.

It’s just that they will never know it.

 

Kiss Your Church Goodbye.

CALL 911:  THIS CHURCH IS ON FIRE FOR GOD! Save yourself, serve yourself World serves its own needs, Listen to your heart bleed Dummy with the rapture And the revered and the right, right You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, bright light, Feeling pretty psyched It’s the end of the world as we know it It’s the end of the world …

LIP SERVICE


Yes, she thinks you think she’s speaking extemporaneously; not reading off a teleprompter.

Never hesitate to admit failure. Make no attempt to hide failure under deceptive smiles
and beaming optimism. It sounds well always to claim success, but the end results are appalling.
Such a technique leads directly to the creation of a world of
unreality and to the inevitable crash of ultimate disillusionment.

— The Urantia Book

STILLWATER, MN —  Resplendent in her foxy* deep blue silk jacket and cultured pearls, Michele Bachmann announced she will not seek another term in the United States Congress.

The Tea Party darling’s very long list of denials about why she is not leaving may become more credible, if and when the rumor we are accused of starting turns out to be true:  that she will be joining “Prancersize” inventor Joanna Rohrback‘s firm as its Presidential “Prancer” and Commander-in-Chief horsey:


Another unfortunate example of Camel Toe.  But all is not lost; watch with the volume off.

And speaking of prancing show horseys…  another angry beaver attacked a man on a roadside near Shestakovskoye lake, west of Minsk, Belarus, slicing through an artery in his leg which caused him to bleed to death.  It was the most recent in a string of angry beaver attacks in Belarus, where the beaver population has tripled in the past decade to around 80,000.  Belarusian beavers can weigh up to 65 pounds and stand three feet high.
Experts say the increase in attacks is largely due to springtime aggression in young beavers that are trying to make a name for themselves and stake out their own territory after being forced to leave home by their parents.  Some older beavers can also become disoriented in life and attack out of fear;  others become bitter and vengeful when faced with the inevitable crash of their ultimate disillusionment.
* Foxy  I.e., Fauxy, Republican shemale drag

FORTY-FIVE ASSHOLES AND COUNTING

46 Assholes

“THEIR BLOOD BE ON US

AND ON OUR CHILDREN”

Assholes Who Voted Against An Amendment Proposed by Sens. Joe Manchin (D-W.Va.) and Pat Toomey (R-Pa.) To Require Background Checks For Commercial Gun Sales¹

Lamar Alexander (ASSHOLE-TN)
Kelly Ayotte (ASSHOLE-NH)
John Barrasso (ASSHOLE-WY)
Max Baucus (ASSHOLE-MT)
Mark Begich (ASSHOLE-AK)
Roy Blunt (ASSHOLE-MO)
John Boozman (ASSHOLE-AR)
Richard Burr (ASSHOLE-NC)
Saxby Chambliss (ASSHOLE-GA)
Dan Coats (ASSHOLE-IN)
Tom Coburn (ASSHOLE-OK)
Thad Cochran (ASSHOLE-MS)
Bob Corker (ASSHOLE-TN)
John Cornyn (ASSHOLE-TX)
Mike Crapo (ASSHOLE-ID)
Ted Cruz (ASSHOLE-TX)
Michael Enzi (ASSHOLE-WY)
Deb Fischer (ASSHOLE-NE)
Jeff Flake (ASSHOLE-AZ)
Lindsey Graham (ASSHOLE-SC)
Chuck Grassley (ASSHOLE-IA)
Orrin Hatch (ASSHOLE-UT)
Heidi Heitkamp (ASSHOLE-ND)
Dean Heller (ASSHOLE-NV)
John Hoeven (ASSHOLE-ND)
Jim Inhofe (ASSHOLE-OK)
Johnny Isakson ASSHOLE-GA)
Mike Johanns (ASSHOLE-NE)
Ron Johnson (ASSHOLE-WI)
Mike Lee (ASSHOLE-UT)
Mitch McConnell (FUKHEAD-KY)
Jerry Moran (ASSHOLE-KS)
Lisa Murkowski (ASSHOLE-AK)
Rand Paul (IDIOT FUKHEAD-KY)
Rob Portman (ASSHOLE-OH)
Mark Pryor (ASSHOLE-AR)
James Risch (ASSHOLE-ID)
Pat Roberts (ASSHOLE-KS)
Marco Rubio (IDIOT ASSHOLE-FL)
Timothy Scott (ASSHOLE-SC)
Jeff Sessions (FUKHEAD-AL)
Richard Shelby (ASSHOLE-AL)
John Thune (ASSHOLE-SD)
David Vitter (ASSHOLE-LA)
Roger Wicker (ASSHOLE-MS)

These despicable assholes and idiots need to be removed from our nation’s government.
Remember this vote on their next election day
Here are their Twitter handles, tell them how you feel about allowing guns to be sold to their fellow assholes and idiots, online and at gun shows:

Harry Reid (D-NV) *

 

Senators Who Voted for the Proposal

Tammy Baldwin (D-WI)
Michael Bennet (D-CO)
Richard Blumenthal (D-CT)
Barbara Boxer (D-CA)
Sherrod Brown (D-OH)
Maria Cantwell (D-WA)
Ben Cardin (D-MD)
Thomas Carper (D-DE)
Bob Casey (D-PA)
Susan Collins (R-ME)
Christopher Coons (D-DE)
William “Mo” Cowan (D-MA)
Mark Kirk (R-IL)
Joe Donnelly (D-IN)
Richard Durbin (D-IL)
Dianne Feinstein (D-CA)
Al Franken (D-MN)
Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY)
Kay Hagan (D-NC)
Tom Harkin (D-IA)
Martin Heinrich (D-NM)
Mazie Hirono (D-HI)
Tim Johnson (D-SD)
Timothy Kaine (D-VA)
Angus King (I-ME)
Amy Klobuchar (D-MN)
Mary Landrieu (D-LA)
Frank Lautenberg (D-NJ)
Patrick Leahy (D-VT)
Carl Levin (D-MI)
Joe Manchin (D-WV)
John McCain (R-AZ)
Claire McCaskill (D-MO),
Robert Menendez (D-NJ)
Jeff Merkley (D-OR)
Barbara Mikulski (D-MD)
Christopher Murphy (D-CT)
Patty Murray (D-WA)
Bill Nelson (D-FL)
John Reed (D-RI)
Jay Rockefeller (D-WV)
Bernie Sanders (I-VT)
Brian Schatz (D-HI)
Charles Schumer (D-NY)
Jeanne Shaheen (D-NH)
Debbie Stabenow (D-MI)
Jon Tester (D-MT)
Pat Toomey (R-PA)
Mark Udall (D-CO)
Tom Udall (D-NM)
Mark Warner (D-VA)
Elizabeth Warren (D-MA)
Sheldon Whitehouse (D-RI)
Ron Wyden (D-OR)

 

¹  But not for sales between “friends and neighbors.” 

*  More idiocy:  Harry Reid (D-NV)  had to vote “no” as a “procedural move” to preserve an option to reintroduce the bill.