liars Archives - Page 7 of 53 - WORLD OF THE CROSS

Meet The New Clowns, Same As The Old Clowns

A Garrulous Guide To The 2016 Republican Presidential Trainwreck

McConnell Is Baaaaack… And It’s Your Fault.

Mitch McConnell’s strategy of blaming everything that’s wrong in the world on Barack Obama has been wildly effective.

A Bridge Too Far Fat

Outside of those folks who think you’re nothin’ but an adorable pizza pie-eatin’ machine slash governator…

The Tiny Penis Triumvirate

Tucker “Teeny-Weenie” Carlson, Matthew “Mighty Dong” Drudge,
and Sean “Stinger” Hannity with their tiny penis mini-me partners.

Before you know it, it’s going to be February again. And February is Tiny Penis Month, but I bet you knew that. This year, there’s a three way tie for Tiniest Penis In Media, and of course the media is all engorged over it. So lock and load, the “winners” are, in order of phallic magnitude:

Matthew Drudge. In 2006, TIME Magazine named Matthew Drudge one of the 100 most influential people in the world, describing The Drudge Report as “A ludicrous combination of gossip, political intrigue, and extreme weather reports … still put together mostly by the guy who started out as a convenience-store clerk.” Yeah, they forgot “lies,” but.

Sean Hannity. In 2013, Talkers Magazine listed Sean Hannity as #2 on their “Heavy Hundred” list of the 100 most “important” radio talk show hosts in America.Inexplicably, the same magazine gave Hannity their “Freedom of Speech” Award in 2003. And now in 2014, the price of a bucket of warm Elmer Fudd spit has eclipsed the value of their award, as well as any supposed importance of Right Wing Wadio Wackows.

Tucker Carlson. Oh, and every year, Tucker Carlson is an increasingly tiny dick. That is all.

NATIONAL LAUGHINGSTOCK

This month’s national laughingstock just happens to be an adult crybaby.

This sorry-assed excuse for a magazine found its way into my personal space yesterday. Not only was it not funny, but it pissed me off in a way that I have seldom experienced since I stopped abusing certain vile foamy liquids and other assorted borderline ingestibles.

Many of you are too young in this adventure to remember National LAMPOON magazine, let alone one of their most memorable covers, from January 1973. (See it here.) But unlike that cover, this parody did not make me feel sorry for the Boner-as-victim of his own groveling attempts to destroy the American government and … you know what, just forget it.

Forget all the antics of the Republican “party” for a moment. Just answer this question: Why is a sniveling crybaby the Speaker of the House of Representatives of the United States?

Is this really the best creature we can squeeze out of our gene pool?

Apparently it is, so then, go ahead, Repuglican’ts; do your worst, you catatonic douchebags.

America has it coming.

LIP SERVICE

Yes, she thinks you think she’s speaking extemporaneously; not reading off a teleprompter.

Never hesitate to admit failure. Make no attempt to hide failure under deceptive smiles
and beaming optimism. It sounds well always to claim success, but the end results are appalling.
Such a technique leads directly to the creation of a world of
unreality and to the inevitable crash of ultimate disillusionment.
— The Urantia Book

STILLWATER, MN — Resplendent in her foxy* deep blue silk jacket and cultured pearls, Michele Bachmann announced she will not seek another term in the United States Congress.

The Tea Party darling’s very long list of denials about why she is not leaving may become more credible, if and when the rumor we are accused of starting turns out to be true: that she will be joining “Prancersize” inventor Joanna Rohrback‘s firm as its Presidential “Prancer” and Commander-in-Chief horsey:

Another unfortunate example of Camel Toe. But all is not lost; watch with the volume off.

And speaking of prancing show horseys… another angry beaver attacked a man on a roadside near Shestakovskoye lake, west of Minsk, Belarus, slicing through an artery in his leg which caused him to bleed to death. It was the most recent in a string of angry beaver attacks in Belarus, where the beaver population has tripled in the past decade to around 80,000. Belarusian beavers can weigh up to 65 pounds and stand three feet high.

Experts say the increase in attacks is largely due to springtime aggression in young beavers that are trying to make a name for themselves and stake out their own territory after being forced to leave home by their parents. Some older beavers can also become disoriented in life and attack out of fear; others become bitter and vengeful when faced with the inevitable crash of their ultimate disillusionment.

* Foxy I.e., Fauxy, Republican shemale drag

Rethug Scandophiles

Impatience is a spirit poison; anger is like a stone hurled into a hornet’s nest.
–The Urantia Book

Washington Monthly’s Ed Kilgore writes :

Even as “investigators” seek without much success so far to find evidence that the IRS scrutiny of applications for 501(c)(4) status represents a vast political conspiracy—one that might have changed the outcome of the 2012 election, no less—the aggrieved Tea Party Movement is taking action…

I would have hoped everybody has figured out by now that the Tea Party Movement is not some news-from-nowhere citizens uprising that’s recruiting previously apolitical Americans in a battle against Washington, but a large, radicalized segment of the conservative “base” of the GOP (none the less Republican for the self-identified independent status of many Tea Folk, who vote Republican very loyally but don’t want to identify with it because they don’t trust it is or will remain sufficiently conservative). As such, it is much less a threat to the Democratic Party than to the GOP—insofar as Republicans have political objectives that don’t always coincide with the truculant and ideologically extreme attitudes of the activist “base.”

Precisely. The recent hyperventialtions by the Rethug Scandophiles are less a threat to the Obama Administration than it is to the Rovian wing of the Grand Obstructionist Party. A point we have been trying to make here repeatedly.

Or as Willie might have said: Go for it: