SPECIAL STUPID

Ted Special Stupid

 

THERE’S A SPECIAL KIND OF STUPID out there in “Merca,” and over the last four decades or so, it’s been allowed to proliferate quite unimpeded by other aspects of cultural society, especially by things like intelligence, wisdom, facts, and truth.

The current poster weenie for this affliction is National Rifle Association executive tool, Wayne LaPierre.
SpecialStupidWayne

LaPi— Mmm. Wait.
Actually, the poster weenie for this affliction is NRA tool, Ted Nugent. But LaPierre is the suit that spouts the crazy at official NRA propaganda sessions. Recently he pointed out to a few Senators that tighter gun control laws aren’t needed— because criminals ignore laws.

“They’re criminals, they’re homicidal maniacs… we all know that homicidal maniacs, criminals, and the insane don’t abide by the law.”

Ah.  So, since criminals don’t always follow laws, no new laws (regulation) would work— because criminals break laws— so laws won’t work— because criminals, by definition, break laws— so we shouldn’t resort to laws as a way of trying to regulate or restrain criminals, homicidal maniacs, or the insane, because, you know, laws break.

See?

SpecialStupidPalin1

Ironically, it’s a perfect example of what Right Wing Nut Jobs call “Special Stupid” — a peculiar and tortured logic maze created and justified by fear— and its shadow— hate.  It’s simplistic and selfish, and a hypocritical way of negating everything Jesus ever said about loving your neighbor, one another, or, because, foreigners.

But like nearly everything in the lizard brain, the blazing irony of Special Stupid defies not just logic, love, fact, truth, and common sense, but even the most basic level of moral humanity— while assuming the very mantel of superior morality at the point of a gun and wrapped in an American Flag.

And it is this ongoing cultural conundrum of the cold dead values of the past, being inexorably and evermore forcefully supplanted by the progressive values of true brotherhood, which will occupy center stage of American politics until the battle is won.  And it will not be won with bullets.

SpecialStupidTom

 

 

 

 

 

Cheap White Whines

I can only believe a bonafide tea-billy did the copy work here, what with half a dozen ugly typos on the back label alone.

ERASERHEAD RAND

Rand “Eraserhead” Paul is a very angry man. It’s definitely the hair.

FRANK ZAPPA’S THE YELLOW SHARK

The Yellow Shark

The Yellow Shark  •  Repixeled by Terry Kruger
*Original sculpture by Mark Beam

There really is a Yellow Shark.

A Yellow Shark was caught in 2004 off the coast of Australia, and it was considered a one in a million mutation of the Port Jackson Shark, common in those waters.  And that other one in a million yellow shark, Zappa‘s Yellow Shark— is, well, plastic.*  It makes a swimming cameo appearance in the vid below.  Enjoy.

Hope you had a relaxing and efficacious Zappadan. . .

See you next year…  keep it greasy.

Welcome To The United States

Zappa Immigrant Welcome To The United StatesDo you have a communicable disease?  Physical or mental disorder? Are you a drug abuser or addict?  Have you ever been arrested or convicted for an offense or crime involving moral turpitude, or a violation related to a controlled substance, or ever been arrested or convicted for two or more offenses for which the aggregate sentence to confinement was five years or more?  Have you ever been a controlled substance trafficker? Are you seeking entry to engage in criminal or immoral activities?  Have you ever been or are you now involved in espionage or sabotage? Or terrorist activities? Or genocide?  Or between 1933 and 1945 were you involved, in any way, in persecutions associated with Nazi Germany or its allies?

Rainer Römer: Ladies and gentlemen, here he goes, Peter Rundel, he seems to be disgusted. Whatever. Ridero ridera! Heute fängt die Fastnacht aa’ Ha ha ha! LAUGH NOW! (HA HA HA HA HA!) Be quiet! Von seiner Werkbank zu uns heute Abend hergekommen ist unser Hermann Kretzschmar wolle mer’n reinlasse? Laugh now! (HA HA HA HA HA!)

Welcome to the United States!

This form must be completed by every nonimmigrant visitor not in possession of a visitor’s visa.

Type or print legibly in pen in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. USE ENGLISH.

Item 7—If you are entering the United States by land, enter LAND in this space. (LAND!) If you are entering the United States by ship, enter, unh-unh, SEA in this space.

Do any of the following apply to you? (Answer Yes or No)

(No! No! Yes! No! Yes! No!)

A. Do you have a communicable disease; (COUGH NOW! Coughs . . . ) physical or mental disorder; or are you a drug abuser or addict?

Tell me, Bill, Yes or No. (No) Louder. (No!)

B. Have you ever been arrested or convicted for an offense or crime involving moral turpitude or a violation related to a controlled substance; or ever been arrested or convicted for two or more offenses for which the aggregate sentence to confinement was five years or more?

Answer Yes or No. (Yes! Yes, sir! Yes! No! No! No!)

Or been a controlled substance trafficker; or are you seeking entry to engage in criminal or immoral activities?

Answer Yes or No. (Yes or No) Thank you!

C. Have you ever been or are you now involved in espionage or sabotage; or terrorist activities; or genocide; or between 1933 and 1945 were you involved, in any way, in persecutions associated with Nazi Germany or its allies?

Answer Yes or No. (Yes)

Thank you very much! And welcome to the United States!

 

Original photograph from Chaplin’s 1917 film, The Immigrant:

Charlie The Immigrant

 

 

STILL ABSOLUTELY FREE

 A LOT OF PEOPLE don’t bother about their friends in the VEGETABLE KINGDOM. They think, “Ah, what can I say? What can a person like myself say to a vegetable?” But the answer is simple, my friends . . . just call . . . and tell them how you feel . . . about MUFFINS, PUMPKINS, WAX PAPER, CALEDONIA, MAHOGANIES, ELBOWS AND GREEN THINGS IN GENERAL . . . and soon: A NEW RAPPORT.  You and your new little green & yellow buddies . . .  grooving together!  OH NO!  Maintaining your coolness together!  Worshiping together in the church of your choice!  ONLY IN AMERICA. Woh-oh-oh-ah-agh-h . . .

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=258IAiOtnuw[/youtube]

A Teabagging Fool

The Colbert Report Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Donald Trump’s October Surprise
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog Video Archive

Stephen offers Trump a million bucks to demonstrate the origin of the word “teabagging”

Neither tragedy nor good sense will prevent the The Donald Dumpster from stealing every ounce of publicity he can.

Promising a major announcement last week that would shake up the presidential election after his Teabagger inspired Birther investigation flopped, Trump offered President Obama $5 million for the charity of his choice if he would release his college transcripts and passport applications by Halloween at 5:00 PM, an offer that earned him well-nigh universal ridicule. (Obama explained to Jay Leno that Trump never got over being humiliated by Obama on the soccer fields of their native Kenya.)

Doubling down yesterday, Trump extended the deadline to Thursday at Noon. Apparently, the fact that in the wake of Superstorm Sandy the president is helping get his and the other eleven Atlantic City casinos  back in operation has earned him a few extra hours.

 But Trump’s good friend Babwa Wa Wa has had enough:

“Donald, you and I have known each other for many years, and you know that I am your friend and I think you are a brilliant businessman and you are great on television and you have a fascinating personality. You’re not hurting Obama, you’re hurting Donald and that hurts me because you’re a decent man. Stop it. Get off it, Donald.”

Friends don’t let friends drive the rest of the world crazy.

The Onion probably said it best:

In a blockbuster announcement today, Donald Trump announced that he is a very sad man who has nothing to live for other than drawing attention to himself.

‘I’m a sad, pathetic human being and a complete waste of life,’ said Trump, adding that he lives an empty existence, and that he is nothing more than a corporate shill, as well as a failed husband, father, and human being.

I am the piece of shit you stepped in on your way to work. I am the vomit that hurls out of your mouth when you are sick. I want to kill myself very badly. Thank you.” Trump then slit his throat from ear to ear.

Fortunately, the comedy gods intervened and Donald is recovering nicely after being rushed to an emergency room where the straw was stuffed back into his neck.