National INQUISITOR: 500 CRIMES & 5,000 LIES

Nature abhors a vacuum, so there’s a new shit rag in town, the National INQUISITOR©.

SATAN SPOTTED ON CAPITAL HILL AGAIN

In a rare moment of demonic candor, characteristically angry and frustrated Christian icon, Satan, lashed out at a Fox news crew on Capital Hill today…

TRUMP PRAISES SATAN, SAYS THEY’LL WORK TOGETHER

The auditorium fell silent as Trump immediately began showering praise on “the Prince,” calling him a “very talented guy,” a “smart guy,” and a “very fiery negotiator.”  He also complimented Satan’s “great personality,” saying, “He has a very, very warm heart, that I can tell you.”

Pressin’ The Chikin Franchise Flesh

Mr. and Mrs. Scott Pruitt pressed some “CHIKIN” franchise flesh recently, while spreading a little moral turpitude in Morocco.*

21st Century Summer Reading

  We’re taking a summer break because, well, it’s already global warming summer. We’ll be back when we’re tired of sweating poolside. In the meantime, you really need to get ahead of the unfolding Trump Catastrophe;  but first things first:  We recommend you stop procrastinating about your spiritual progress and read The Urantia Book while you’re still alive on Urantia. …

The Crucifixion Of Jesus Christ

Then Pilate led forth the bleeding and lacerated prisoner, clothed in a old purple royal robe with a crown of thorns piercing his brow and, presenting him before the multitude, said: “Behold the man!