Trouble In McDonaldland

The flagship burger of McDonaldland is the Big Mac, shown above with a list of its ingredients supplied by McDonalds.

McDONALDLAND —  Refusing to answer questions about Mayor McCheese‘s crack cocaine use, McLisa McComb, a spokeswoman for McDonald’s USA, announced the demise of the online presence of the McResource program, following the solicited appearance on their McWebsite of  “unnecessary McViews and McCriticism” of their cheeseburgers and fries.

“We have offered the McResource program to help our valued McDonald’s McEmployees with McWork and McLife McGuidance, prepared by independent third party McExperts.  A combination of McFactors  beyond our control has led us to refuse to expose ourselves to outside criticisms re-evaluate, and we’ve directed our McVendor to take down the McWebsite.  Between links to expository  irrelevant and horrendous outdated information, along with outside groups we can’t control, exposing taking elements out of context, we realized we were paying for this unwarranted McScrutiny and damaging inappropriate commentary,” McComb said, in a freshly prepared McStatement with no Mcfillers or Mc-xtenders.

She munched on:  “None of this helps our McDonald’s McTeam McMembers. [laughter] Without the McWebsite, we’ll be forced to provide Mcservice to them through an internal telephone McHelp line, which is how the majority of McEmployees access the McResource McServices anyway.”

The site now shows Ronald McDonald with a speech balloon saying:  “We’ll Be Back real McSoon!  We are temporarily performing some McMaintenance in order to provide you with the McBest experience possible!  Please excuse us while these McUpgrades are being McMade with only the freshest ingredients!”

The fast-food advice flap is the latest blunder involving the site during the last few months.  Recent tone-deaf advice to employees included a tipping guide, with suggestions for tipping au pairs, personal fitness trainers, and sure, pool cleaners.